Subspace emissary edited
by uhyeahitsteamdark
Summary: A parody of the Subspace emissary...stupid things occur...and...that's what happens. Chapter 1 up
1. Chapter 1

This isn't actually part of my "Edited" series, but it's a parody of the Subspace Emissary, so I thought I'd give it that title.

Chapter 1: Subspace Emissary begins

A battlefield was placed in the middle of the air with many stands all around it, though there seemed to be only two audience members. The trophies of Mario and Kirby fell into the arena as a bright light surrounded both of them, morphing them back to their original condition.

"We can change back anytime we want?" asked Mario. "Kirby told me he had to grab me in five areas to change us back!"

"Oh, um...my mistake," said Kirby. "Wait, how do you know we can't change back by ourselves later?"

"There's like fifteen fanfictions dedicated to the Subspace Emissary," answered Mario.

"Oh, right. Well, let's start."

"Wow, this is such a good battle," said Zelda. "It clearly explains backgrounds and how Mario and Kirby knew each other."

"Of course," said Peach.

"I wasn't talking to you!" snapped Zelda.

Mario darted with incredible speed, and Kirby did the same. Then they realized they were running in opposite directions, and turned around and faced each other.

Suddenly, Mario turned into a trophy. Kirby looked bemused and touched Mario in numerous places, changing him back.

The crowd began to cheer, while Mario and Kirby waved around pointlessly. Suddenly several enemies appeared, around them, and Zelda and Peach jumped forward to be useless closer up.

"Clouds with eyes?" asked Mario. "No, these ideas are too ridiculous! I don't think we can beat them!"

They beat them anyway, though, and then a flower hit Mario over the edge.

Meanwhile, in a dark room, Pit was watching his crystal ball excitedly. "Mario-cam dot com does not lie, I liked the part when he flew over the cliff."

"Yes, but the graphics did not live up to the rumors I've heard," said one of the angels, who had been trapped in the room for years and couldn't have possibly heard any rumors.

Kirby kicked the flower on more time. It started to catch on fire.

"Good thing every enemy in this game, even plants, explode or catch fire," said Kirby. "I wouldn't know what to do with the remains."

The ancient minister flew up, the words "Ancient Minister" appearing across him. The words disappeared. "Now di--"

"Wait, I wasn't done!" said Kirby.

The ancient minister sighed, and the words appeared there again. Kirby read them and disappeared.

"Oh, I was thinking you were ROB."

Two robots stuck their arms into a ball and stretched it.

"Now, here's my ultimate plan. I put my robots into a town...and then destroy it, getting rid of all my robots! Nothing can stop me—wait, no, two hour loading periods between scenes!"

His scream echoed across the whole stadium. Two hours later, the stadium began to explode, and Kirby floated out holding Zelda, while leaving Peach to die.

"I'm going to kill myself!" said Pit. He jumped backward out the window, and then changed his mind mid-way down. He began flying through the clouds, and found Mario lying down.

"Wait, this isn't where I landed...damn it, Kirby."

"Wow, I can finally meet Mario in person," said Pit.

"Urgh," said Mario.

"Are you alright? Were you attacked by another one of those ancient ministers that clearly aren't ROBs?"

"Urgh."

"I wonder how long they plan to do this Subpsace Emissary thing, and what all the consequences will be."

"Urgh."

"Stop."

"Sorry." Mario got up, and they both jumped down through clouds. They reached the bottom, and the ancient minister appeared before them. Mario jumped up to attack, and Pit landed on his head, jumping further. However, he fell, even though he could fly easily seconds before.

The ancient minister flew away to continue his evil plan, while Mario groaned.

Meanwhile, a koopa had many bananas in a cart and was driving away from them. Donkey Kong began punching himself as if this would solve all their problems, and Diddy Kong fired peanuts at the koopa.

"What did I do?" whined the koopa.

"You stole our bananas!" shrieked Diddy Kong.

The koopa looked behind him. "How did these get here? Well, I'll continue bringing them forward. Bowser did request bananas for his evil doings, after all."

"Actually, I might've put those there," said Donkey Kong remorsefully.

"_Why_?"

"I wanted to see how fast they'd go."

Well, that's the end of that chapter. Peace.


	2. Chapter 2

Yo im back with another chapter

Chapter 2: Plans into action

Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong ran hastily through the forest, finally finding Bowser standing on a tree.

"No!" said Donkey Kong. "This is too dangerous!" He powered up a punch, and then struck Diddy Kong, sending him flying. He dashed up and hit Bowser, who then dissolved into bananas.

Donkey Kong turned around and saw Bowser on another tree, aiming his cannon at them. "My arrow-shooting cannon can do almost anything!" yelled Bowser.

A TV fell and landed on the floor, turning on and revealing Master Hand. "That's right! You heard it here first! The brand new arrow-shooting cannon can not only turn your enemies into trophies, but can even make malicious clones of whoever you shoot! Now available in banana power."

"Wait," said Donkey Kong. "You can make a clone of who you shoot? Did you shoot yourself, or...?"

"I'm not explaining that," said Bowser. "It's up to Nintendo to not explain anything."

"That's not true!" yelled Donkey Kong defensively. "Nintendo explains everything!"

"That explains why there's an entire adventure mode where no one talks."

"Um...well..."

"It's the end for you," said Bowser, aiming his cannon at Donkey Kong. "What? Loading? I knew I shouldn't have used bananas for power."

An hour later, Bowser began talking again. "There! Your time is over!"

He shot an arrow, which missed. "Well, I'll fire another one...loading again? Damn it!" he shrieked.

An hour later, he shot an arrow at Donkey Kong, which turned him into a trophy.

Diddy Kong jumped out of the forest and saw that a plane had crashed on the land. Suddenly, a monster emerged form the plane, catching it on fire. Fox jumped out, miraculously unharmed as the monster went toward the land.

"Alright," said Fox. "When it comes over here--"

The monster suddenly burst out of the ground and toward the sky, causing Diddy Kong and Fox to jump out of the way.

"Alright," Fox continued. "When it comes back down--"

The monster burst out of the ground again, aimed for the sky.

"When it--"

The monster burst out fo the ground again.

"Alright, what the hell?" asked Fox. "You never went back underground!" He shot the monster, causing it to blow up.

"Wow...it exploded," said Diddy Kong.

The ghost of the plant that had hit Mario appeared in the air. "My death was more ridiculous, I caught on fire and I'm a plant!" he jeered.

"Well, I exploded, and I'm a living thing!" said the ghost of the monster.

Diddy Kong dragged Fox toward the forest against his will. Meanwhile, Lucas was walking sadly, when suddenly a giant statue started chasing him.

"PK thunder!" he yelled. Electricty went and struck the monster, doing nothing. Lucas began to walk along, the statue moving slowly, until he jumped to another platform. The statue fell in the water. "Sweet!"

Another statue fell, hitting the ground.

"He must have that trophy cannon." Lucas began running, and tripped. "I'm trapped under a twig?"

"PK thunder!" a voice came from the distance, and electricity hit the statue backward.

"I did that, and nothing happened!" yelled Lucus furiously.

"PK flash!" cried Ness. Green energy went up and struck the statue, shattering it and revealing some kid inside of it.

Lucus ran up and destroyed it. Then, he ran up behind Ness. "Wait, I was the one who fought it," said Lucus.

They saw Wario on a tree, his trophy cannon aimed at them. It went over Ness and shot an arrow, but Ness dodged. Wario tried again, but Ness jumped out of the way.

"Are you serious?" yelled Wario. "I came all this way to try and get a Ness trophy to match my Ness trading cards, and he's the one who can dodge!"

"Why do you have more than one Ness trading card?" asked Lucas.

"Um...I...die!" he yelled, moving the gun over Lucas. Ness ran up and pushed him out of the way, turning to stone, while Lucas ran away and Wario laughed into Ness' face.

Lucas met up with the Pokemon trainer, who released his Squirtle. Lucas and Squirtle jumped up to a platform, over some lava, onto another platform, and finally landed on the other side, where they found the Pokemon trainer again.

"How did you get here?" asked Lucas.

They ran forward and passed the enemies. "They'll never catch us." Lucas ran forward, and then caught his foot in a twig again. "Damn it!"

"Are you completely sure that sending your robots into this place and then blowing them all up is a good idea?" said one of the ROBs. They were all near Marth's castle.

"Yes, I'm sure," said the Ancient Minister. "And this time, I'm setting a time limit to my bomb, so the two hour loading scenes won't stop me!"

Marth jumped out the window and landed on the ground. Meta Knight joined him, and they both fought the enemies. Then, Ike jumped up and slashed at the Ancient Minister, sending him flying.

"Take that, ROB!"

"I'm not ROB, I'm the Ancient Minster!" he shrieked. He flew back and read the bomb. "Four hours and fifty seven minutes...this is taking too long." He pushed a button. "Alright, five, four, three, two, one."

The place blew up and Marth, Meta Knight, and Ike all ran away.

Samus dropped into a lab, and started forward. She found Pikachu being electricuted in a chamber, and she broke it open, freeing him.

"Wow, who would've throught walking into a chamber spewing out electricity would be dangerous," said Pikachu. "Let's go."

They walked forward and reached the door.

"Wait, are those Ness trading cards?" asked Pikachu.

"Maybe," said Samus furtively.

That's the second chapter. Sorry if it was short.


End file.
